Torah Ethics for Everyday Life: The Laws of Being a Good Neighbor

Jewish law places great emphasis on how we treat those around us. This guide to neighborly conduct — rooted in Torah principles — offers halachic insights into noise, privacy, borrowing, and property use in apartment buildings and shared spaces.

When people think of religious observance, they often picture mitzvot like keeping kosher, Shabbat, or prayer. The Torah, however, considers how we treat other people as just as central — if not more so — than our obligations to Hashem. The laws discussed here are not just good advice or neighborhood etiquette; they are halachic obligations rooted in Torah sources and part of a Jew’s religious duty.

While modern American housing varies — condos, co-ops, apartment complexes, town homes — shared walls and common spaces mean tensions between neighbors are a universal reality. The halachot (Jewish laws) presented here speak directly to that experience, providing a Torah-based framework for navigating everyday life with those who live around us.

Noise Levels

Making abnormal or abnormally loud noise is forbidden:

A person may not make abnormal levels of noise that disturb their neighbors’ peace and quiet. This applies to actions that are not considered standard in one’s environment, such as playing on a drum set in a residential building. However, ordinary activities that create noise, such as vacuuming or running a blender, are permitted even if they are audible to others.

Children’s play is part of everyday life:

Noise from children playing is a normal part of life. Therefore, neighbors cannot impose restrictions, other than during universally recognized “quiet hours” such as midday rest times, or nighttime hours.

Respecting Boundaries

Infringing on privacy is not allowed:

Peering into a neighbor’s apartment through the windows, or onto their porch, or into their yard is prohibited, as it prevents them from using their property freely and privately.

In cases where balconies or windows already face each other, some halachic authorities view this as an implicit waiver of the right to privacy, but this does not mean that one may intentionally peer into someone else’s property.

When building an extension to one’s home, regardless of local planning laws one may not build in such a way that one blocks (even partially) a neighbor’s light or air (obviously unless the neighbor agrees).

Likewise, one may not build in such a way that the extension will infringe on a neighbor’s privacy (for instance, with a window looking directly into the neighbor’s yard).

One may also not build in such a way that the neighbor’s balcony or yard (if it currently serves as the only space he has for a kosher sukkah, i.e., with nothing overhanging) becomes partially or completely covered.

Laundry etiquette:

In some buildings, balconies (or laundry-hanging areas) are vertically stacked. Where this is the case, it is preferable not to hang one’s very wet laundry (if it drips) above a neighbor’s dry clothes hanging below.

However, if no other space is available, doing so is permitted.

Communal Spaces

Mail and mailboxes:

If a neighbor’s letter or package ends up in your mailbox by mistake, halachah obligates you to forward it to the correct person promptly and never to peek at its contents. This is both a fulfillment of the mitzvah of hashavat aveidah (returning lost items) and a safeguard against forbidden reading of others’ private correspondence (known as “Cherem d’Rabbeinu Gershom”).

Taking a magazine or newspaper out of someone else’s mailbox just to flip through it is forbidden without their permission, even if you return it right after.

Lending and borrowing:

One may not use items belonging to others without permission, even if they are stored in shared spaces.

For example, bicycles, strollers, or any other items left in a shared hallway or entryway still fully belong to their owners. Even if you have a friendly relationship, you may not use such items without clear permission.

If a neighbor habitually borrows items and fails to return them, there is no obligation to lend to them. If one knows they are in financial difficulties, one may and should (if possible) “lend” them the requested item and mentally consider it as tzedakah (charity) rather than as a loan.

Hazards and mess:

If someone leaves food in a shared space (such as a stairwell or courtyard) and it attracts birds that dirty a neighbor’s balcony, that person is required to remove the food and they may have to pay for cleanup if damage was caused.

If a tree on your property has branches that extend into a communal or public area which could cause harm or inconvenience, you are halachically obligated to trim it.

If someone stores their private property in a communal space (e.g., basements, lobbies) in such a way that it disturbs the majority of neighbors, the other neighbors may give them a deadline to remove it. If the person does not comply, the neighbors may remove the items to an unobtrusive place. If there is no such place, some of the items may be sold and the proceeds used to pay for storage for the remainder; alternatively, all the items may be sold and the proceeds given to the owner.

Building management:

If the building has a residents’ committee, halachah requires individual tenants to obtain the committee’s approval before making changes or initiating building-related projects.

Decisions about shared property must be made in a formal meeting where all sides can be heard. Once discussion has occurred, majority rule prevails.

If the committee fails to carry out a necessary repair to a communal space or utility, after multiple requests, any tenant may initiate the repair and obligate all residents to share in the cost.

A Final Word

Being a good neighbor isn’t just a matter of courtesy — it’s a fulfillment of Torah law. The halachic principles above reflect a profound truth: a life of holiness includes how we live among others. In the words of Rabbi Akiva: “Love your neighbor as yourself: this is a great principle of the Torah.”