End the Day the Torah Way: The Power of the Bedtime Shema

What’s the best way to end the day? Which thoughts should we have in mind as we drift off to sleep? If you don’t have ready answers to these questions, you’re not alone, but — don’t worry. The Torah does have answers, and when you consider them, it will sound so obvious...

After a Day of Life, Say Thank You... and Ask for More

If you look inside a Siddur (prayer book), and turn the pages past Maariv (the evening service), you’ll come to something called Kriyat Shema She’al Hamittah — the Bedtime Shema. This is actually a mini prayer service in honor of the fact that we just lived a whole day of life during which a lot of things happened, and now we’re about to entrust Hashem with our souls during the night (sleep is one-sixtieth of death, the Torah teaches).

Its main feature is the brachah (blessing) “Hamapil,” which is either recited at the very beginning or at the very end of the Bedtime Shema, depending on one’s tradition. This blessing recognizes that it is God who gives us the gift of sleep; in it, we ask Him to protect us while we sleep and wake us up to a new day of goodness and peace.

This is more than a personal prayer we offer to Hashem; it's a full blessing that includes God’s holy names. According to Sephardic halachah (Jewish law), God’s names are only spoken if we go to sleep before chatzot (halachic midnight); after chatzot, Hashem’s names are omitted from the blessing.

Ashkenazim recite the full brachah at any time of the night. However, if you’re going to sleep after dawn, the blessing is not recited at all.

Don’t Fall Asleep During the Blessing for Sleep

Ideally, the Bedtime Shema is recited while standing or sitting, so that we don’t accidentally fall asleep in the middle. However, if you’re already lying in bed, you don’t have to get up again.

Because this is a blessing specifically about sleep, ideally you should go to sleep right after finishing the Bedtime Shema service (following the halachic principle that the deed follows immediately upon the brachah beforehand). That doesn’t mean that you have to be literally about to drop off before you recite the Bedtime Shema. It’s enough that you’re ready to go to sleep and plan to do just that.

You Recited the Bedtime Shema, but Then...

Just as we make a brachah over an apple and immediately take a bite, so too should we immediately go to sleep after the Bedtime Shema service. Lying in bed quietly and even tossing and turning isn’t considered an interruption between the blessing and the deed, but what about genuine interruptions after Hamapil?

Ideally (lechatchilah), we should not say a word after finishing the Bedtime Shema, and that should be our intention before we begin. However, bedi’eved (after the event), if we did forget and say something, the brachah is not considered to have been recited in vain, nor is it repeated.

Therefore:

• If you suddenly get thirsty after the Bedtime Shema, it’s fine to go and drink something and recite the blessings before and afterward.
• If you need the bathroom, you do recite the Asher Yatzar blessing afterward.
• If your young child needs comforting or there is some other pressing need to talk, you may do so. This includes answering a question posed by a parent, as not replying would be a breach of the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents (kibbud av va’eim).

The Shema Yisrael Prayer

All three paragraphs of the Shema prayer should be recited before going to sleep.

Children should be taught to recite at least the first paragraph of Shema.

Usually, when someone recites Shema alone (as opposed to with a minyan in synagogue), he or she adds “El Melech Ne’eman” (God, faithful king) before the three paragraphs, for a total of 248 words which correspond to the 248 limbs of the human body.

However, for the Bedtime Shema it is preferable to instead add the words, “Hashem ElokeichemEmet” after the three paragraphs, as is the practice of the chazan (prayer leader) in synagogue during the morning and evening services (Shacharit and Maariv).

Clearing the Slate

Aside from the Hamapil blessing and the Shema, the Bedtime Shema service includes a number of Psalms (Tehillim) as well as prayers for God’s mercy and protection, such as the famous “Hamalach hago’el oti mikol-ra, yevarech et-han’arim...” (May the angel who redeemed me from all harm bless the youths...) with which Yaakov Avinu (Jacob) blessed Joseph’s sons, Menasheh and Ephraim (Bereishit 48:16).

In addition, we review the day in our minds and forgive all those who harmed or hurt us in any way, in a very special prayer:

“Ribono Shel Olam—Master of the Universe, I hereby forgive anyone who has angered or vexed me, or sinned against me, either physically or financially, against my honor or anything else that is mine, whether accidentally or intentionally, inadvertently or deliberately, by speech or by deed, in this incarnation or any other ... may no one be punished on my account.

“May it be Your will ... that I will not sin again, nor repeat my sins ... and as for the sins I have committed, erase them in Your abounding mercies, but not through suffering or severe illness...”

According to Sephardic custom this prayer is recited even on Shabbat and Yom Tov; Ashkenazim omit it.

But what if there’s someone you feel you simply can’t forgive? It can help to try and give them the benefit of the doubt. You can also remind yourself that the person was simply the stick in God’s hand, and while what they did may have been wrong, that’s between them and God — and as for what you suffered, that’s between you and God as well.

If you still feel resentment, you may omit the words “I hereby forgive.”

Diets Start Tomorrow but Tomorrow Starts Tonight

A few years ago, a large multinational launched an advertising campaign featuring the slogan, “Tomorrow starts tonight.” The idea was that if you want a great day tomorrow, you should get a good night’s sleep beforehand (on one of their mattresses, naturally).

The concept of tomorrow starting the night before is actually a bit older than this slogan; the Torah tells us that the entire universe runs this way, as we see in the very first verses of Bereishit: “Vayehi erev, vayehi boker, yom echad—And it was evening, and it was morning, one day.”

What does a good night’s sleep entail? It’s more than physical refreshment, though we ask Hashem for that too, in order to be able to serve Him the next day. It also means going to sleep at peace with the world, accepting Hashem’s plan for our lives, and acknowledging that what other people may have done to hurt us was part of that plan.

It means entrusting Hashem with our souls as we drift off into sleep, knowing that there are people who won’t wake up in the morning.

And it means asking and hoping to get up in the morning full of gratitude, to say Modeh Ani—I thank You, Hashem, for giving me life.