Honoring Parents: Reward in This World and the Next

The Torah states (Deuteronomy 5:15): "Honor your father and your mother, as Hashem your God has commanded you, so that your days may be prolonged and so that it may go well with you in the land that Hashem your God is giving you."

This promise of reward for fulfilling the commandment of honoring parents is exceptional. There is almost no elaboration in the Torah regarding reward for fulfilling any particular commandment. There are only two exceptions where the Torah specifies the reward: one is honoring parents, and the second is sending away the mother bird, as written in the Torah (Deuteronomy 22:6-7): "If you come across a bird's nest... you shall surely send away the mother, and take the young for yourself, so that it may go well with you and you may prolong your days."

It is remarkable to see that the Torah promises exactly the same reward for two commandments whose difficulty and effort in fulfillment are so vastly different: the commandment of sending away the mother bird - a commandment so easy to perform, a one-time action of sending away the mother [dove] and taking the chicks, not requiring great effort or financial expense, and about which the Jerusalem Talmud (Tractate Peah 1:1) says: "The lightest of light commandments." Whereas the commandment of honoring parents - how difficult it is to fulfill properly! How much effort and toil it requires, sacrifice and character development. A daily commandment sometimes involving financial expenses and investment of time and thought. How is it possible that the reward for this great commandment would be the same as the reward for sending away the mother bird?

We must also ask, why indeed did the Torah not detail the reward for fulfilling commandments? And if the Torah deemed it appropriate not to specify - why are these two commandments detailed with rewards?

The Midrash says: To what can this be compared? To a king who had a beautiful orchard, where many trees grew of various kinds. The king hired workers to work in his orchard, but did not reveal to them the payment for each task in the orchard, so they wouldn't all do only the tasks with higher wages and neglect the tasks with lower wages. In the evening, the king called all the workers to pay them for their work. He turned to one worker and asked: Under which tree did you work? The worker replied: Under this tree. The king said: That is a pepper bush, and its wage is one gold coin. He called another worker and asked: Under which tree did you work? He answered: Under this tree. The king said: That is an ornamental tree, I will give you half a gold coin for it. The king called another worker and asked: Under which tree did you work? He replied: Under this tree. The king said: That is a fine olive tree, I will give you two hundred zuz for it!

The workers wondered and said to the king: Shouldn't the king have informed us which tree has greater reward, so we would know to work under it?! The king said to them: If I had informed you of the reward for each and every tree, how would my entire orchard have been tended?!

So said Hashem: Do not sit and weigh the commandments of the Torah. Do not say: Since this commandment is great, I will do it because its reward is abundant, and since this commandment is light, I will not do it. What did Hashem do? He did not reveal to His creatures what the reward is for each and every commandment, so that they would perform all the commandments with integrity, for all the commandments are necessary for a person to reach his purpose and true perfection, and therefore it is not appropriate for a person to calculate which commandments are more worthwhile and which are less - all are vital and necessary for us. In each of the Torah's commandments lies a special and necessary benefit, and therefore the Sages said (Avot 2:1): "Be as careful with a light commandment as with a serious one, for you do not know the reward given for the commandments."

To show us how we have no true understanding of the reward for commandments, and we have no way to calculate which commandment is more important and which is less important - what did Hashem do? He "shook up" and "scrambled" the rewards of the commandments. That is, the Torah specifically detailed the reward for two contrasting commandments: on one hand - the most serious of the serious, and on the other hand - the lightest of the light, and the reward for both is "long life"! And about this, King Solomon said (Proverbs 5:6): "Lest you ponder the path of life [lest you begin to calculate and weigh which commandments to fulfill and which not, therefore:] her ways are unstable - you do not know them."

Nevertheless, it certainly cannot be said that the reward for these two commandments is indeed equal, for the Sages said (Avot 5:23): "According to the effort is the reward," meaning: the more a person exerts himself and toils in fulfilling the commandment, the greater reward he receives. Therefore, it must be said that the reward of long life is only a small part of the reward, and the true reward is for the World to Come, which no eye has seen, and we have no ability to try to describe and understand it, and we will rely on this on the kindness and ability of Hashem, and our Master of labor is faithful to pay us the reward for our actions. (Midrash Rabbah Deuteronomy, Parashah 6:2, with the commentary of Maharzu)

Do We Receive Reward for Commandments in This World?

It is told about Elisha ben Avuyah, who was very great in Torah. Avuyah his father had destined him from infancy to be great in Torah, but his intention in this was not for the sake of Heaven. This happened when Avuyah held a circumcision feast for his son Elisha, and invited many people including the great scholars of the generation. Avuyah circulated among the guests and saw that each group was discussing its own matters, the wealthy - matters of commerce and business, the poor - matters of collecting charity, and so on. Then he saw the sages who were of course engaged in words of Torah, and from their great holiness, fire descended from heaven and surrounded them. At first Avuyah didn't understand and thought it was ordinary fire, saying to them: Have you come to burn my house?! They told him: This is not ordinary fire, but fire of holiness. Avuyah was impressed and said: If this is the honor and greatness of Torah scholars - I hereby dedicate my newborn son to the pursuit of Torah! And indeed Elisha grew and became great in Torah. However, since the foundations of his greatness were not for the sake of Heaven, what happened, happened. (Jerusalem Talmud Tractate Chagigah 2:1, Tosafot Chagigah 15a)

Elisha was walking along the road, and behold he sees a man telling his son: Climb up to the roof and bring me chicks from there. The son climbed up, thereby fulfilling the commandment of honoring father, and also sent away the mother bird sitting on the chicks, thereby fulfilling the commandment of "sending away the nest," and behold as he came to descend from the roof - he fell from the ladder and died!

Elisha saw this and wondered: Isn't the reward for honoring father and mother long life, and also the reward for sending away the nest is long life, so how did this person die precisely after fulfilling these two commandments?! Immediately he began to deny the Torah, and went astray, and from then on the Sages called him: "Acher" (the Other).

But truly, how is it possible that this person died? Doesn't the Torah explicitly state: "so that your days may be prolonged and so that it may go well with you"?! But the Sages said: "The reward for commandments in this world - does not exist," meaning: Hashem does not pay the reward for commandments in this world, but rather "so that it may go well with you" - in the world that is all good, "and so that your days may be prolonged" - in the world that is all long. (Kiddushin 39b. Chullin 142a)

And the Meiri explained: Indeed, the main reward for commandments is in the World to Come, however there is also some of the fruits of reward for the commandment in this world, except that there are things that delay the recompense. Therefore, a person should not question at all the matter of "a righteous person who suffers, a wicked person who prospers," but rather the person should know that all the actions of Hashem are with justice and uprightness, and the ways of His wisdom are hidden from us.

To What Can This Be Compared?

A respected professor gave an informative lecture about the harms of smoking. He gave proofs and explanations that smoking is very harmful to the lungs, causes serious diseases, and shortens life expectancy, God forbid. One of those present asked for permission to speak and declared: "Professor, this entire lecture is unfounded and incorrect, all the explanations and proofs - all lies and falsehood!". "Why do you think so?" the professor inquired, and he confidently replied: "I have a neighbor, an eighty-year-old man, a chronic smoker for decades, and he lives long and is healthy as an ox! And if that's not enough - I have a relative who died at a young age from a serious lung disease, and believe me, ladies and gentlemen - he never smoked a single cigarette in his life!" Thus he concluded his "speech" with a tone of triumph, and sat down importantly in his place...

And what shall we actually say? Are these examples indeed "proofs" that smoking does not harm health and does not cause serious diseases? Certainly not! So what? There are other factors involved here! There are people who are naturally strong and healthy, and there are people who are weaker and more sensitive. There are people who maintain a balanced and healthy diet, and engage in physical activity, and there are those who neglect this. There are people who live in an area with clear mountain air, and there are those who live in an industrial area that is polluted and murky...

In short: this or that example cannot undermine the clear determination that smoking indeed harms health, and causes, God forbid, diseases and shortening of life expectancy.

And regarding our matter, the reward for honoring parents is promised in the Torah: "so that your days may be prolonged and so that it may go well with you!" But sometimes other factors intervene that delay the reward, and the main true reward is hidden and reserved for the World to Come. Therefore, there is no place to raise questions from certain cases, as Elisha 'Acher' questioned, but the true believer knows that Hashem has many calculations, and therefore he performs the commandments with simplicity, with the clear knowledge that "faithful is your employer, who will pay you the reward for your labor." And it is brought in the Midrash (Shocher Tov Psalms 9), that when a person fulfills the commandments with simplicity without calculating, he merits a double reward: one - for fulfilling the commandment, and the second - for his faith in Hashem.

And the Sefer Chassidim (Section 342) wrote: If you see wicked people who disrespect their father and mother, and nevertheless succeed, know that it is to their detriment, so that their punishment will be greater. And do not question, how many people honor father and mother and do not have children, for these matters are hidden from us, and revealed before the Creator, and one should not question these matters and the like, because these things are true, that whoever honors his father and mother merits children, and those who do not merit, there is a reason revealed before the Creator as discussed. And likewise with one who does not honor father and mother, and has children.