Turning Tragedy into Triumph: A Journey Through Loss

"In the past two and a half years, I've lost the three closest people to me, my whole world was shaken, and it seems nothing will ever be the same again. Yet, I live a full and even joyful life. I choose positivity and decide to get out of bed every morning, understanding that these are the circumstances I've been given, and I must make the best of them."

These words come from Hadas Ganis, who describes herself as having been dealt many "lemons" but also knowing how to make "lemonade." "I've faced many challenges, but at some point, I understood that I'm the only one who can choose how to navigate them, and I chose to focus on the good," she elaborates.

Sefi, Hadas' brother

Making Lemonade from Lemons

Hadas says her journey began as a child. "I grew up with ADHD at a time when awareness was non-existent," she reveals. "School was tough, filled with feelings of not belonging and insecurity. It wasn’t until age 15 that a proper diagnosis allowed me to develop learning strategies. These helped not only in academics but in life, leading me to become a university lecturer in education and learning. I even developed learning strategy courses used today in various educational systems and wrote the children’s book 'The Chaos of Hadas,' which gained significant media attention."

Hadas notes that even then, she understood she had turned lemons into lemonade, unaware it was just preparing her for the unforeseen events soon to occur in her life. "My second lemon came six years ago when I decided to get a divorce and found myself alone with two young children during the COVID-19 pandemic. At a time with no functioning welfare offices or supportive facilities, I also learned my mother had pancreatic cancer. The coping wasn’t easy, but my strong mother taught me a lot about overcoming crises, or I might have crumbled. But we continued living, and last year I made lemonade again by studying mediation and starting law school, aiming to support families through divorce. I also opened a mediation office."

But the third lemon came as a complete surprise: "While supporting my mom with my older sister Natalie and my younger brother Sefi, we noticed our healthy and strong dad starting to wilt. We couldn’t understand it until he collapsed suddenly and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. His condition was so dire he was moved directly from the ER to hospice. Less than a month later, we lost him. It was a complete shock—while managing mom’s cancer, how could dad be the one to pass away? And at such a young age, only 71."

Can one still make lemonade from such a situation?

"It’s hard to call it 'lemonade,' but mom was the one who gave us all strength. She created a positive atmosphere, explaining she had accepted she would be leaving this world and wanted to use the time left to close circles, meet beloved people, and seek forgiveness from those she had hurt over the years. That’s precisely who mom was—an inspiring woman."

Sefi's texts during the Nova attack

Sefi's texts during the Nova attack

The shelter where he hid

"Believes It's All from Above"

At this point, Hadas refers to the year 5783 when Israel as a whole faced a tremendous upheaval. "We started the year with a Rosh Hashanah dinner at mom's, by now considered a walking medical miracle. Although mom weighed just 27 kg then, she insisted on preparing the entire meal. That night, shortly after dinner, she had a stroke at the table and was rushed to the hospital. But to the doctor's astonishment, she woke up the next morning unharmed. I was with mom at the hospital then, and she surprised me by announcing she wanted to book a family vacation to celebrate the miracle of remaining with us a bit longer. As soon as the holiday ended, I announced in our small family group that mom decided to organize a vacation for everyone during Sukkot. Natalie was on board, but Sefi replied immediately, apologizing that he couldn’t join because he had plans to attend the Nova party with his best friend."

"So came Simchat Torah night, with our family trip in Eilat, while Sefi remained behind, apparently unwilling to accept the bitter reality. He called me at 12:30 AM, explaining he realized this might be the last vacation with mom. He wasn’t ready to miss it. He asked me to arrange him a room, and I tried, but by the time I succeeded, he had missed the flight and had to forgo the vacation."

Hadas shivers at the memory of their conversation where Sefi said, "I believe it’s all from above and that it was meant to be. I’ll go to the Nova party with my friend, and soon, we’ll take another trip with mom."

Hadas remained with her mother and family in the hotel when Shabbat and the holiday began, they went to sleep as usual, but at 5:30 AM, she woke with a stomachache. "It was a pain as if warning me something terrible was about to happen," she recounts. "I jumped out of bed to check on mom, fearing something happened to her, but everything was fine. A little more than an hour later, we woke up to my sister knocking on the room door to report a war had broken out. At first, we didn’t think it related to Sefi; it wasn’t until 11:00 AM that we realized he was at Nova and exposed to terrorist gunfire."

Hadas with her brother Sefi and sister Natalie

Hotel Operations Room

Hadas struggles to describe the 25 hours of complete uncertainty about her brother’s fate and that of his friend, Gal Navon. "During all those hours, I set up an operations room alone on the hotel floor, leaning against the wall and trying to gather intelligence. Meanwhile, mom was unaware, and at some point, we were told there was an indication that Sefi and Gal were kidnapped to Gaza. As bizarre as it sounds—we breathed a sigh of relief because that was the best-case scenario at that time. But we were soon confronted with the harsh truth, learning from several sources that both were murdered."

"At that point, I had to tell mom and return with her and my two children to our central location. I felt incapable of making the drive alone, especially in unstable security conditions. I must thank our incredible people because after my sister posted we're looking for an armed escort from Eilat to the center, Yossi Reva—an Eilat local—joined us, driving us home safely. We arrived on Monday, and the next day, Tuesday morning, Gal's mom informed us they had a soldier at their door. An hour later, ours too, confirming they identified Sefi as deceased. The next day, we buried Sefi next to our dad. I remember returning from the funeral, filled with gratitude for having the honor of burying him in Israel. I understood then that some bodies might be kidnapped to Gaza, and I was immensely thankful to Hashem that Sefi was laid to rest beautifully and wholly on this soil."

"By the way, only weeks later did we learn about Gal and Sefi's heroic story. A survivor named Alina reached out to Sefi's wife, recounting how, at the sound of sirens, Gal and Sefi fled to their car, but a missile exploded nearby, wounding them with shrapnel. They made it to a shelter where Alina and Limor were hiding. According to Alina, when Sefi and Gal heard a terrorist approaching, they wordlessly agreed and stormed out to confront him with their bare hands. They were shot to death, but their brave act prevented the terrorist from entering the shelter, saving the women’s lives. Limor later died from a grenade, but Alina survived and months later gave birth to a boy, so Sefi and Gal saved not only her life but the child's life as well."

Hadas pauses briefly, adding: "I don’t dwell on calculations or mysticism, but exactly 30 days after my brother's murder, my mom passed away. We had just finished visiting Sefi’s grave and moved on to mom’s funeral."

The Mission: Choosing Joy

How do you move forward from this place? What gives you the strength to keep living?

"Since all this happened, I hear these questions often," Hadas admits. "I’ve sought answers, spending months taking regular walks, during which I conversed with myself and went through a profound process. From this, I developed a lecture on 'Turning Lemons into Lemonade,' delivered on various occasions with two goals—memorializing my brother and parents, and building resilience to provide people with tools to find inner strength and share it with others."

"I want to emphasize that it's not about denying what happened. On the contrary, I am very well-therapized and professionally supported. That’s how I managed to define principles that guide me; maybe they sound like slogans, but those who follow and know me understand this is my life. I live by these values. The first is the principle of choice. It’s clear to me that every challenge requires us to choose the good—to wake up, decide how to face the day, and live alongside the hardship. Most importantly, realizing that hardship does not negate joy. I can deal with challenging emotions yet choose to function and live daily, even drawing inspiration and joy from adversity."

"Another principle is acceptance, which I learned from my mom during her toughest battles. It was astounding to see how she embraced her end, and this acceptance brought her great happiness and fulfillment in different situations, enabling her to conclude life with internal acceptance. The idea is to embrace what we have, accepting that this is what there is—despite the challenges."

"The subsequent principle is the 'here and now,' understanding that only the present exists; the past is gone, the future is unknown, and we must be present in our acceptance, choosing life and happiness."

Hadas acknowledges that these tools are deeply rooted in Jewish faith. "I have always been connected," she stresses, "and there are books that escorted me throughout my life, including 'Man's Search for Meaning' by Viktor Frankl and 'Life Couldn't Exist Without You' by Moshe Sharon. These tools have always been with me but sharpened following these events, as my perspective is about life’s mission—investing and choosing the good. As Rabbi Kook said, 'One must be joyous,' I believe entirely in appreciating what we have and being happy with it."

Can you truly feel joy? Is it genuine happiness?

"Yes, because as I mentioned—these aren’t just slogans, and anyone who knows me sees that I live a full and complete life, striving to create celebrations and joys, passing this message to my children and the world. This is what we have, and it's the only way to continue living."