A Journey of Unity and Resilience: Rachel Goldberg's Story

A large green Bristol board covers the upper part of the door to the Goldberg home in the Mekor Chaim neighborhood of Jerusalem. The message reads, "Dad, our hero, we missed you, welcome back!" Beneath this touching note are the words from the verse "The Lord will fight for you." Stickers preserving the memory of Rabbi Avi Goldberg z"l and other fallen soldiers from the Iron Swords War surround the doorway, alongside a map of Israel, evoking awe and inspiration for visitors.

"Our kids say they're growing up with a broad sense of mission," shares Rachel Goldberg, wife of Rabbi Avi z"l, mother of eight, nurse, violinist, and bridal counselor. "They did have some criticism. They might say that sometimes it was too much, and they missed some normal leisure time, but ultimately, they are very happy."

"Over the years, we regularly hosted groups and families from around the world, did shlichut in the U.S. for three years, and Avi profoundly impacted secular kibbutz members with his spiritual work, officiated weddings, and more. Avi approached life from a place of 'I have the privilege to learn and grow with you, and I simply love you.' It was deep, genuine Ahavat Yisrael (love of Israel). He cared deeply for each student, couple, friend, colleague, or new person in his life, with curiosity, respect, and camaraderie. Seeing and learning from this was wondrous."

"Yes, I speak about him in the present tense even though he's physically absent, because I feel his presence very much here. It's a great privilege, and I don't take it for granted. It is written that 'the righteous, even in their death, are called living.' Avi himself once wrote about this, explaining that while the wicked are deemed dead even in life due to their destructive pursuits, the righteous are considered living in 'death' because their soul, message, and actions brought and bring so much life and light to the world. This remains eternal. Truly, his light spreads across the world in many ways even after his passing, touching hearts deeply."

Together We Will Prevail

The shiva period for Rabbi Avi drew thousands from across the country, from all walks of life. Large tents were erected near the family home to accommodate the many who came to mourn, with hundreds gathering at night to sing the holy melodies Rabbi Avi loved so much. "That sense of mission resonating through our home and extended family might have influenced Avi's shiva," Rachel says. "During shiva, words suddenly came forth from me. I wasn't one for speeches, but suddenly there was this welling up. I asked the mourners to speak of hope, resilience, and strength—words that echoed the message and destiny of the Jewish people."

"I felt such immense pain, one that fills the world, and knew it would reside in my heart from now on. But I asked for me and for the ongoing building of our home to rise again, to see good, to bless, and even to rejoice. I discover that the pain shows up uninvited—it simply exists continuously, rising to the surface when it wants. Above it and with it, is a force that seeks to continue moving forward. The children themselves are a powerful pull towards life. My essence now is holding the home and children, alongside activities to strengthen unity among the Jewish people. During the shiva, I told politicians who wanted to come comfort us that they were welcome, but asked they come with someone from the other camp, to convey a message of unity. They responded impressively, with almost 60 members of Knesset coming. Additionally, I seek to fulfill my dream of becoming a midwife and am now studying an advanced midwifery course. With Hashem's help, I will help bring many new lives into Israel."

When you spoke of the Jewish people's destiny, how do you see it?

"It's a massive and complex topic, but I will say a few words. The Jewish people as a whole, and each individual among us, must acknowledge there is a great purpose, a message to bring to the world. We are not just another nation; we are the nation chosen by Hashem to bring repair and redemption to the world. We are to bring harmony, beauty, morality, justice, health, generosity, life, and peace. We must recognize the Creator and stay connected to Him, and those linked to the giver of life naturally want to bring life, which is our great purpose. Every mitzvah performed, every deep dive into our roots, every aspiration and action to contribute to society, brings great light to the world."

Beyond your work, you're also an active musician. How does music influence your life?

"Music we connect to and play carries healing and comfort. During Avi's shiva, the music was very significant, a great uplifting. Avi's spirit was present, with thousands arriving from across the country, many coming again and again to immerse themselves, even those who didn't know him. We continuously felt his embrace as a man of Torah."

"Avi taught and was an educator at the Himelfarb High School in Jerusalem. He served in Golani during his regular army service, later as a military rabbi and soldier in Battalion 8207 of the Nahal Brigade. Avi was uniquely loved, influencing many. From midday on Simchat Torah until his heroic fall in Lebanon a year later, just after Shabbat Parshat Bereishit, Avi completed about 250 reserve days. He was called up for a third round a week before Rosh Hashanah, on my birthday, and they were sent north."

"The day it happened, he came home with an expression I hadn’t seen before. After he passed, someone told me the soul knows 30 days prior what is about to occur. Avi stood in the doorway, silently for half a minute, and did not speak. From his face, I could see sorrow mingled with resolve. His beautiful glow said, 'I wish to stay, continue my role as father, husband, rabbi, teacher, but I understand the Jewish people are in danger now and need protectors. I am ready for this willingly, with dedication and uprightness not seen by Israel for thousands of years.'"

"They gathered to enter Lebanon and were together on Rosh Hashanah. Avi led all holiday prayers as expected, but although he was the rabbi, he encouraged soldiers to lead and gave them various roles in prayers. They felt a sense of belonging and responsibility, exemplifying how Avi empowered people. The shofar blown by Eliav Abitbul z"l, the deputy commander of one of the battalions, was the one his grandfather, a Holocaust survivor, owned. Avi and Eliav studied Torah together throughout their extended reserve duty."

"Their battalion entered Lebanon the day after Rosh Hashanah, following a strong prayer service where Avi declared loudly and clearly: 'Hashem, be with the soldiers of your people who go to battle today...' ending with an uplifting 'Am Yisrael Chai.' They remained until after Yom Kippur and then returned to refresh. Yom Kippur fell on Shabbat, and Avi came back on Monday evening. He spent the first day of Sukkot with us, cherished family time, and on the morning of Shabbat Chol Hamoed returned to the next gathering point for the second entry into Lebanon after Shabbat."

"They entered another village and were to complete the mission by Motzei Shabbat Parshat Bereishit, but during Shabbat, Avi and his friends were killed. During a clearing mission looking for weapons, they were surprised by Radwan fighters who opened fire. It was a very complex battle, with several brigades being deployed. Six soldiers were killed in the fierce battle, including my Avi. Soldiers who came during the shiva shared how on Simchat Torah, a mere day before the battle, marking exactly a year since the Gaza envelope terror attack, they danced with a book accompanying Avi throughout—a 'Minchat Asher' on the weekly Parasha by Rabbi Asher Weiss."

"It's hard to explain how much Avi loved the Torah. He loved, toiled, and delved into it. There's helmet footage showing Avi singing and dancing with other soldiers at Shabbat's entry, on Lebanon’s village soil, amidst half-destroyed houses filled with vast hostile ammunition stores. They sang 'Mizmor LeDavid' at Shabbat's onset: 'Ascribe to the Lord, O families of nations… And He breaks the cedars of Lebanon… Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn,' continuing to 'Lecha Dodi Likrat Kala.' How they wished to be with their wives—their personal brides—but the entire Jewish nation is a bride and Hashem the bridegroom. This everlasting wedding ceremony. We are lovers of life, but if faced with attempts to harm us, we will fight. Proudly we stand by all our fighters who were ready to give their lives for the Jewish people."

Seeing the Good

"On that Motzei Shabbat," continues Goldberg, "it was announced in the battalion's WhatsApp group that there were two casualties, and I immediately texted Avi wanting to speak and strengthen him. I knew he'd see the message upon returning, and meanwhile, he was likely attending to the fallen's sanctity, a task for military rabbis, delicately attending to their bodies with respect. Unbeknownst to me, others were actually attending to him. Days earlier, the battalion sent us a message asking if we wanted to send any notes to our beloved. We invested in it; each wrote to Avi, accompanied by drawings from the little ones. These letters arrived Saturday morning; I now know he read them about two hours before he died."

It's incredibly difficult losing a husband, but do you see a source of strength in what happened?

"What we went through as a nation—and still do—is a serious shake-up, a strong tremor. I believe this crisis calls us to connect more strongly to Hashem, to Torah, to the Jewish people, to the Land of Israel. To connect amongst ourselves and within, as sovereign Jews in our land. To unite heaven and earth, past, present, future, Torah, and action. I focus on growth, on good things, not on sinking into despair. I don't dwell on 'why did this happen to me' thoughts, nor question Hashem with 'why did You do this?' Even with explanations, they wouldn’t help the intense longing. The pounding pain inside."

"I have a great point of innocence and simplicity in my nature. I know the choice is how to deal with this. The children recently reminded me that already on the first day, upon receiving the terrible news, we stood hugging in a circle in the living room, in shock, choosing life. We wish to live a life of Torah, intense, deep, and sweet. It's the gift our nation received, teaching true joy. Personally, I just wish to be with Avi. But until the resurrection occurs, I try to bring him to life in whatever ways I can. I act out of immense love and appreciation for my husband, blessed to have spent 21 wonderful years with him, grateful to Hashem for the amazing, supportive family given to me. Together we strengthen and strive forward for the many complex challenges ahead. We're also working on establishing a center in this spirit, 'Walking in Your Light, Avi,' and I welcome partners to help build it."