"Living Abroad: Israelis Sharing Their Stories"

"It's hard to admit mistakes," says Yaffa Turgeman, an Israeli who left the country about 35 years ago. She now speaks candidly about the Israeli immigration phenomenon. "If you ask Israelis who moved abroad, they struggle to admit they were wrong. But here I am, speaking for those who left, admitting openly: The precious ones who warned us that once we emigrate, we'll feel 'split'—they were right. After 35 years in Colorado, I know that an Israeli can't truly feel complete, living both at home and abroad."

35 Years Abroad

Turgeman shares her personal story: "My husband and I never planned on emigrating; it all began with a simple world tour. It was 1990 when my husband completed his mechanical engineering studies at the Technion. We wanted to travel and experience different lives. Naively, I told him, 'If we want to travel, let's do it where we have family,' leading us to Colorado, where my brother and aunt lived.

"We flew with my mother and our three-year-old daughter. A month later, my mother returned to Israel to await her eight children and grandchildren, while we decided to stay longer to continue exploring.

"We explored the Rocky Mountains, reached remote towns, and kept thinking we'd return soon. About two months after arriving in Colorado, I met the director of Denver's largest Jewish preschool, which had 25 classes and 270 children. It was a private school, with tuition accordingly. I mentioned to the director that I worked as a preschool teacher in Israel. She was thrilled and offered me a job. I innocently replied, 'We're just visiting; I don't have a work permit,' and she reassured me, 'Don't worry, I'll get you one.' We found ourselves settled in a new state, with me legally employed at the school for four years. After that, I opened my own preschool, which grew and thrived."

And what about your husband?

"My husband, although he completed his mechanical engineering studies, started a construction company in Colorado. He even built me a preschool with seven classes, employing 21 staff members, teachers, and assistants. The school ran smoothly for 25 years, and we were very satisfied."

Yaffa's story doesn't end there; about a decade ago, she sold her preschool and opened a beautiful restaurant and catering business that provided services for weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, and many prestigious events in the Jewish community. The culinary business was also sold a few years later, marking the realization for Yaffa and her husband that nothing tied them to Colorado and that they could finally return to Israel.

Did you consider it seriously?

"Yes, we thought about it. In recent years, I've focused on managing my large culinary channel with over 100,000 followers. I'm constantly refreshing content and giving my creativity space, but I know it can be managed from Israel too. We miss Israel and are strongly connected to it, but practically, we felt it would be tough for us. After so many years living abroad, we've become part of the community, and I volunteer wherever needed. Additionally, our eldest daughter is married to an American Jewish businessman, a mother of sweet girls, and lives relatively close to us. Returning to Israel would mean long separations from our daughter and her family, which neither I nor my husband can bear."

If you knew in advance, do you think you would have emigrated?

"It's hard to say, but perhaps we wouldn't have left Israel, and we're not alone. Many Israelis in Jewish communities abroad feel the same way."

Facing the Consequences

Turgeman points out that her story reflects the significant conflict accompanying Israelis living in the U.S. today. This led her recently to talk with many Israelis abroad, hear their stories, and even compile them in a book titled "The Split World," available on Amazon, 'Book Pod', and the 'Hebrew' website.

"The book contains 18 different stories," she shares, "each confronting a different consequence faced by Israelis who left. They often struggle to admit it, but I decided to expose it and acknowledge all the consequences."

Like what? What consequences are we talking about?

"For instance, the loss of Hebrew language proficiency, resulting in many errors. It's something inevitable. Additionally, there's the great frustration surrounding family events, which they usually have to miss.

"You can't ignore the significant assimilation abroad, witnessed daily. In our community, many children receive Chanukah gifts from their mother and Christmas gifts from their father, with numerous families disappearing from the Jewish people.

"And yes, there are those who succeed abroad and build businesses but often feel like they're in a golden cage, missing home terribly. One multimillionaire I interviewed shared this honestly, saying it's why he compensates by visiting Israel every three months, yet still feels the longing deeply.

"Personally, I believe the greatest challenge is the dual anchor feeling on a ship—one in Israel, one abroad. Wherever you are, you're split, with only one anchor."

These days, according to Turgeman, during wartime, the sense of disconnection is even more pronounced. "We think about Israel all the time and help however we can. Personally, I host Israeli reservists for Shabbat. We all regularly donate to organizations and entities in Israel, yet it's clear to us that it's not like being there, as in the end, we're outside the story."

Why don't more Israelis who left decide to come back?

"The big problem is that even when deciding to return, it's not easy. One interviewee, an Israeli officer organizing Passover seders for Jewish prisoners in America, said: 'It's been 40 years since I lived in Israel, who would even look at me if I returned?' Imagine how painful that is.

"Another person interviewed for the book said: 'I feel insecure when I visit Israel; the language has changed so much that I hardly understand what's being said or meant.'

Have you encountered those who tried to return but went back abroad?

"Certainly. Some even shipped a container to Israel, full of their home's furniture and content, only to return later. As I've mentioned, nothing is simple, and it's a message I want to deliver, especially to those leaving without real consideration, mainly to escape crises they're experiencing, not realizing that in emigrating, they create a new crisis, adding to those usually unresolved."