Honoring Parents: Passing Down the Faith Legacy from Father to Son

In the year 2448 from the creation of the world, on the sixth day of the month of Sivan, on the holy Shabbat - Hashem revealed Himself to the people of Israel, and gave us the Torah and commandments, laws and judgments.

Today, more than three thousand three hundred years later, Jews all over the world - hold in their hands that exact same Torah. They study and learn it, and fulfill its commandments down to the finest details, exactly as Moses taught in his time: the same square black tefillin, the same complex architectural planning of ritual baths, the same 39 categories of forbidden labor on Shabbat, the same holidays, the same sukkah and the same matzot, the same animals permitted and forbidden for consumption, the same marriage ceremonies, and the same complex monetary laws, etc., etc.

As if the event just happened, as if Moses had recently completed a world tour through all the Jewish communities: in Iraq and Persia, in Morocco and Yemen, in Poland and Hungary, in Russia and Czechoslovakia, in Holland and Switzerland, in Spain and France, in the United States and Canada, in China and Japan - moving from country to country, distributing thousands of copies of the Torah scroll, and explaining exactly how to observe its details and commandments.

And with what devotion and dedication the Torah is preserved, with what self-sacrifice! Jews throughout the generations were willing to die, risk their lives, suffer, wander, starve - to dedicate their entire lives - for its sake. As if they themselves had recently stood at the foot of Mount Sinai, and declared in unison "we will do and we will hear," as if before their very eyes Hashem revealed Himself in the thickness of the cloud, and their ears heard the sounds and the torches and the smoking mountain, and the voice of Hashem breaking through the fire: "I am Hashem your God... You shall have no other gods before Me..."

How?! How has a historical event been so deeply engraved in the nation's consciousness for thousands of years?!

There is no doubt that this is an enormous wonder, a historical marvel that has no equal in any other nation or language. There is no doubt that standing here is the divine promise of the Giver of the Torah Himself: "For it shall not be forgotten from the mouth of his descendants..." (Deuteronomy 31:21)

A father shall make known to his children

When we examine this phenomenon, we notice a powerful and mighty mechanism responsible for transmitting the Torah from generation to generation in such a vibrant and powerful way. This mechanism is - the transmission of the Torah from father to son.

As written in the Torah (Deuteronomy 4:9): "Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren, concerning the day you stood before Hashem your God in Horeb... that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children."

And Nachmanides writes (ibid): "Behold, before mentioning the commandments that were spoken there, He warns with a negative commandment not to forget anything from that event and not to remove it ever from our hearts, and commands with a positive commandment to make known to all our descendants throughout the generations everything that happened there in seeing and hearing... for when we pass this on to our children, they will know that the matter was true without doubt, as if all generations had seen it, for we will not testify falsely to our children, nor bequeath to them something vain."

Nachmanides teaches us the great difference between believing what is told by priests and missionaries, who do not necessarily have genuine and true love for their listeners, versus faith transmitted to children by their fathers, in a way that everyone knows that fathers love their children with great and faithful love, and want to pass on to them their best knowledge. Fathers will only teach their children the truth alone, and it is not the way of a father to instill and implant falsehoods in his son's heart. This is not the case with other religions and beliefs: all admit that they were spread among the masses not by fathers, but by various preachers, trained and specialized in this. It is not faith but folly to believe them. (See further wonderful elaboration in the book "Paths to Faith" page 83)

Therefore, the main transmission of the Torah is specifically from father to son. The Torah emphasizes this in many places:

"That you may tell in the hearing of your son and your son's son..." (Exodus 10:2)

"And teach them to your children and your grandchildren" (Deuteronomy 4:9)

"Which you shall command your children to be careful to observe—all the words of this law" (Deuteronomy 32:46)

"And their children, who have not known it, may hear and learn to fear Hashem" (Deuteronomy 31:12)

"A father shall make known to his children Your truth" (Isaiah 38:19)

In every Shema reading, we repeat twice the obligation to pass on the Torah and faith to the next generation - "And you shall teach them diligently to your children."

The continuous transmission of the Torah from fathers to their children over dozens of generations, with self-sacrifice, despite all the "limitations" that exist in it - 613 commandments! When loving fathers instruct their children to live and even die for it, this is faithful testimony to the truth of the revelation at Mount Sinai!

As written in Psalms (Psalms 78:3-6): "Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of Hashem, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children; that the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children."

And Ibn Ezra explained: "What we have heard from many righteous people, for a person is obligated to accept what they have transmitted. And the tradition was like knowledge ['knowledge' here means clear sight, like seeing something before one's eyes, as a person knows with certainty that the continent of America exists even though he has not seen it], and this is 'and known,' for those who told us were our loved ones and also our fathers, who have no desire to mislead us."

Honoring Parents - The Condition for Transmitting the Legacy

We find, therefore, that the commandment to "honor your father and mother" is a very important foundation in transmitting the Torah from generation to generation.

Rabbi Yosef Albo in the book Sefer Ha'Ikkarim (Third Discourse, Chapter 26) compares this to a country ruled by cruel tyrants, where all its citizens were submissive and humiliated slaves. And then a good and strong king came to it, who subdued the existing government, thereby freeing the citizens from their slavery, and moreover, he developed and improved the country, establishing educational institutions, factories, hospitals, etc., thus bringing tremendous prosperity to the citizens of the country. The king returned to his country, but the country naturally remained under his patronage. Years passed, and the citizens of the country always remained loyal to the king, remembering the great good he had done for them. However - generation goes and generation comes. New children were born and grew up. Would the new generation also know how to appreciate the king? Would they remain faithful to him? Here it depends on their submission to their parents. If indeed the children accept authority from their parents and listen to their instruction, then they too will remain faithful to their king! But if the children throw off the yoke and do not accept authority from their parents, they will surely rebel and kick against their king as well.

So it is with receiving the Torah - the more children honor and respect their parents, the stronger the transmission of the Torah from generation to generation. But if, heaven forbid, children were to kick against their parents, it would not be possible for the Torah to be passed from generation to generation in such a strong manner.

Indeed, when we look at the Ten Commandments engraved on the two tablets of the covenant, we find that the first tablet deals with commandments between man and God - faith in Hashem, prohibition of idolatry, Shabbat, and so on. While the second tablet deals with commandments between man and his fellow, from the elementary requirement of "do not murder" to the elevated level of "do not covet."

And the commandment to honor father and mother - where does it belong? Seemingly, this is a commandment that belongs to the category of interpersonal relationships. Basic gratitude toward those who raised us and worked for us. A social convention throughout the world. But it is specifically found on the tablet of commandments between man and God. Why? Because as stated, the commandment to honor parents is the guarantee for the transmission of faith from generation to generation!

And so writes Rabbi Isaac Abarbanel (Parshat Yitro): "The foundation of this commandment is so that the reception from parents will be important in a person's eyes, and he will believe in it and rely on it... and since the power of this commandment is to believe in the reception from the first ones [our ancestors], which is a general principle in the Torah, and its existence cannot be conceived without it [without this commandment], therefore this commandment was among the divine commandments [between man and God] that were on the first tablet, and was not among the human matters [between man and his fellow] that were on the second tablet."

Who is closer to the ape?

The Gaon Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky once flew from America to Israel. Beside him sat the then Secretary of the Histadrut, Yeruham Meshel. The Gaon was busy with his book, and Mr. Meshel was busy with his own affairs. Every few minutes, the Rabbi's grandson, who accompanied him on the flight, appeared, approached his grandfather and asked him with reverence: "Does Grandfather need anything, is everything alright? Is the seat comfortable? Perhaps something to drink?" Interest from the heart, with tremendous respect. Mr. Meshel examined the young man with interest. "Who is the young man?" he asked. "My grandson," the Rabbi replied. Mr. Meshel sighed: "My grandchildren only know how to make requests. They didn't forget before the flight to present me with a detailed shopping list. Grandpa buy this and Grandpa bring that. Grandpa exists for them only when they need something... who dreams of such honor and respect?!"

"I'll explain the difference to you," said the Rabbi.

I educated my children and grandchildren that we are descendants of Abraham our father, 'the greatest man among giants,' who bequeathed his heritage to his children after him 'to keep the way of Hashem, to do righteousness and justice.' At Mount Sinai we received the Torah, and since then it has been passed down from generation to generation. In the generation after the revelation at Mount Sinai - children admired their parents as people who had the privilege of hearing the word of Hashem directly from the Almighty. And their children admired them for knowing those with whom Hashem spoke, and so the matter evolved from generation to generation, so that children always see their fathers as transmitters of the Torah and conveyers of the Jewish lineage. My children and grandchildren respect me as a person who had the privilege of being connected with spiritual giants in the previous generation: the Chofetz Chaim, the Alter of Slabodka, and other previous giants of the world.

In contrast, you educated your children and grandchildren according to Darwin's foul outlook, that life is the result of random events, and man's origin is from the ape, and if so, why should he appreciate you?! After all, in his eyes you are nothing but a link connecting him to the ape... you are close to the ape, while he is a more perfect human than you..."

And Mr. Meshel sighed again... (Mayan HaShavua Shemot 250)