When a Son Disappears: A Decade Without Daniel

To this day, when Verda Minivitsky introduces herself, she says, "I’m a mother of three—one son and two daughters." Quickly, she adds, "Daniel, our oldest, has been missing for ten years. He left home at 35 and never returned."

Even people meeting her for the first time hear this detail from Verda. It's important to her to keep the issue of missing persons in the public eye. Even after ten years, she holds a private hope that someone might shed light on the mystery, bringing details of her son's whereabouts, whom she will never forget.

Simply Vanished

"It was during Shabbat Hol Hamoed of Sukkot," Verda revisits the day the disturbing saga began. "The evening before, I planned a morning walk with Daniel. When I woke up at seven, my husband told me Daniel had left with an espresso and hadn’t returned. From that moment, we have no idea what happened to him.

"The only things we know are that he withdrew significant sums of money from ATMs in our area and another at Dizengoff Center. Beyond that, we found no clues. At first, we went to the police, and after two weeks of no leads, we hired a private investigator. Skilled investigators followed, yet we still found nothing. Today, the two investigators who worked with us—Gil Shmueli from Focus Investigations and Shaul—continue to volunteer their time."

After days of searching, the police tracked down Daniel’s mobile phone via its signal near the Dolphinarium. "We hoped it was a key to solving the mystery," Verda says, "but it was later discovered by a boy working on the beach who took it from a nearby street. Again, we were left with no leads to resolve the mystery."

How do you cope in such a situation?

"Ronen Zur, owner of a communications services firm, volunteered advice on what to do. We placed posters in key locations, and Daniel’s picture was featured on a 'Dan' bus for an entire year. We also distributed flyers nationwide. Many people contacted the private investigator claiming they saw Daniel, but after questioning, it was never him."

What did you go through as parents during those days?

"Initially, we refused to use the word 'missing'. It was too painful. I always knew about the soldier Guy Hever, who was missing, and I’d heard about someone named Adi Yaakobi who disappeared but never imagined it could happen to my son. People came to us like during shivah, and it took time to explain the unique situation—Daniel wasn’t dead or killed, yet he didn't exist. No one knew where he was, and it was doubtful anyone might ever know. With time, we learned we weren’t alone; other families faced similar situations. We decided to unite them and founded the 'Without Them' organization.

"The organization’s first meeting was challenging, held in our home nine and a half years ago. Ten families, along with a journalist and a photographer, attended. My husband noticed a spark of hope in their eyes, feeling not alone in this struggle. Sadly, our group has grown to seventy families of missing persons. Each family has a difficult story and unending struggle, but being together builds a sense of faith and hope."

Even after ten years, do you still believe Daniel could come back at any moment?

"To be honest, at the beginning, every doorbell and phone call made me jump: 'Is it Daniel?' Now, unexpected calls don’t faze me. Even so, I miss him daily. There’s not a day I come home without thinking of him; he loved music, and I’d always return to loud music. His clothes are still in the closet, his belongings remain, and there’s a technical void. A couple of years ago, our daughter moved to Washington, and I realized—I’m left with just my youngest daughter. By the way, there was a period when Daniel became religious, and thanks to him, we made our kitchen kosher. To this day, when I cook, I ask Hashem: ‘Take the merit from our kashrut and let us meet Daniel again.’"

Always Hoping

What about the other families in the 'Without Them' organization? Have they found answers over the years?

"Most are in similar boats, waiting. Occasionally, there are happy endings. Shalom Rotbein’s family found him two years later in Jordan, and an elderly missing man, suffering from dementia, was found three and a half years later by his dog, near home. After all these years, it’s hard for me to believe Daniel is living well somewhere and hasn’t reached out. But I’m a person of faith, trusting Hashem—if it’s good for me to know his fate, He’ll make it known, and if it's not, then I don’t wish to know."

Today, Verda devotes her time to the organization’s activities. "Our goal is to provide emotional and practical support. Every new family receives a warm welcome. Eitan Tamir, our psychotherapist, offers the first phone call for free. We direct families to search organizations that can help and work to raise awareness. We’re advocating for a law to secure the rights of missing persons and their families, as current legal ambiguities exist. For instance, I wanted to write my will but faced issues; if part is allocated to Daniel and he doesn’t return, the funds are lost. Another family had a missing brother for thirty years but couldn’t divide a large inheritance without knowing his fate. These are just examples; missing persons lack clear legal status. We aim to address that now."

Last year, with the outbreak of war, Verda found herself unwillingly back in those early days. "So many missing families reemerged, and we couldn’t help but empathize," she says. "Even with hostage families, we sympathize, as it's a different story but the same feeling of helplessness and uncertainty. It personally increased my longing for Daniel, as despite the years, the longing remains."

Have you thought about offering a reward for information about Daniel?

"We tried that too. For a time, we offered 100,000 shekels for information leading to Daniel’s location. Many people contacted us, but no information truly helped.

"Some still reach out because of that offer. Months ago, someone sent me a video of a tall young man, yet he did not resemble Daniel. In another instance, a person at a concert sent me a photo of someone in the crowd he thought looked like Daniel. I shared it among friends for opinions, but I knew right away it wasn’t him. Once, they showed a photo of someone quite similar, and my husband wanted to believe it was him, but we soon realized it was another mistake. Ultimately, you can’t mistake your own child."

What gives you strength to carry on despite Daniel’s absence?

"Life, more than anything. It’s stronger. We have two daughters and grandchildren to move forward for. Moreover, the phrase 'everything for the best' has always been my motto. It's true you don’t always see the good immediately; sometimes it takes a long path to realize it, but one undeniable good outcome from Daniel’s situation is raising awareness about missing persons in the country. I urge everyone reading this to pray a chapter of Tehillim for their merit and keep them in mind, because as long as they’re talked about, our hope remains."