Remembering Aviram Hariv: A Life of Integrity and Service

In his last phone call before entering Lebanon, Aviram Hariv asked his wife Ayelet to remind him about a debt he owed: "Remind me that I owe money," he said, detailing the debt. "Aviram," she exclaimed, "why is this important now?" He answered: "You know how much it matters to me, please remind me."

"That was Aviram," Ayelet reflects, a little over a month after his passing. "He was the most genuine person, always guided by what's right and fair, never straying from the path of honesty. Having debts unsettled truly bothered him; he couldn't rest until they were paid."

"Aviram was full of smiles and love, treating everyone warmly and kindly, from small children to the elderly. Everyone in the neighborhood knew him. He had a special connection with the older residents, making them feel like they were the most important to him. Even now, a month after the shiva, people keep calling, sharing stories, and talking about the void he left," she says.

The Educator Rabbi

Aviram Hariv held a senior role in the military, but in civilian life, he was best known as the "Rabbi of Dolav Boarding School." "Aviram joined the school as an educator," his wife notes, "but felt the need for a rabbinical figure and decided to become that person. He wasn't deterred by the challenging backgrounds of some of the students and believed that having a guiding rabbinic presence was vital."

"His role wasn't just theoretical; it was very practical. Aviram created a 'Ask the Rabbi' corner, held regular study sessions, organized an annual Chanukah quiz, and vital religious activities. He offered a listening ear to the students, even on the most complex matters, without being intimidated by any question," Ayelet highlights.

Ayelet notes how the students came to pay respects during shiva, struggling with the loss. "They were devastated, constantly sharing how much they gained from him. They told us stories we couldn't imagine, as Aviram guided them, helping them find self-worth and connect to Judaism in a loving and supportive way."

Always Moving Forward

Aviram, a Major in reserves, was called to fight during Simchat Torah even before being officially summoned, his wife Ayelet recounts. "He was one of the first to head north, fighting for months without returning home, only on rare breaks."

"Before Passover, he finally returned for a week's leave, spending the entire holiday with us. But immediately after, he started a commanding officers' course and returned north to continue fighting, never pausing, always driven by a deep sense of mission."

Did you ever discuss the possibility of something happening to him?

"We spoke once about Yoni Steinberg, whom we knew closely, and his legacy. Aviram said, 'Every soldier knows the risks they face; no one is foolish.' Yet we never considered that he might be in danger. Our outlook was always positive."

"Aviram didn't worry for himself, but he was concerned for his soldiers. Lately, he talked about couples breaking up due to the prolonged situation and reserves, which deeply saddened him. Relationship and peace in the home were always important to him; he mediated between couples and guided many to successful matchmaking."

How did he manage to do everything?

"Thinking back, it's incredible how much Aviram accomplished. He was constantly on the move, never resting, always pursuing the next mission. He aspired to become a community rabbi, pursued rabbinical studies, and sought additional roles in the army, relentlessly fighting to achieve each one. Whenever I asked, 'Aren't you afraid to fail?' he’d always reply, 'It's worth asking; the worst they can say is 'no'.'"

Learning in His Memory

Last Rosh Hashanah, realizing that Aviram wouldn't be home for the holiday was the first time Ayelet expressed her struggle. "Aviram admitted openly, 'I miss you too,' and with that, he made an effort to return home for Yom Kippur eve."

"He was with us until the day after the holiday when we planned a family outing to the amusement park. But at the last minute, he was called back to the north."

"When Sukkot arrived, and I knew he wouldn’t join us, I decided not to build a sukkah. After all, it's just me and the girls, who aren't obligated, and our son is too young. But the surprise came when Aviram called on the eve of the holiday to say he'd be home. He spent the entire holiday with us, never leaving the house, announcing to all, 'I've come to be with Ayelet and the kids.' That was our last meeting," Ayelet shares.

How do you continue after such a loss?

"It's truly complicated and difficult because Aviram was very present at home. He hugged the kids every morning, was involved in their lives entirely, and never missed a parent-teacher meeting. The void he left is enormous, but we're relearning how to live. My children's fight to survive and carry on fuels me, alongside a supportive community and family."

Ayelet pauses, then shares: "We thought a lot about how to memorialize Aviram. In the end, we started a unique initiative. Aviram cherished learning Torah, and since our marriage, having a study room filled with sacred books was his priority. He owned hundreds of books, and every move involved dedicating space for them. The war broke out just as we planned to renovate and expand this room. While Aviram managed to set up the external walls, the rest was stalled. Now we've launched a crowdfunding campaign, 'Building Aviram's Dream,' to finish this room in his memory, dedicating it to learning and inspiration."

Please continue to pray and perform good deeds for the elevation of the soul of Aviram Avraham ben Nazima