An Insight into Revered Families: A Rare Interview with Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky's Daughter

"The most important educational message we as mothers can impart is that our children are noble, like royalty," says Rebbetzin Kolodetsky, daughter of the esteemed Torah scholar Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky and Rebbetzin Batsheva (of blessed memory). Since her mother's passing in 2011, Rebbetzin Kolodetsky has stepped into her legacy. Daily, she interacts with countless women seeking miracles, comfort, and healing. Initially, she welcomed them into her parents' home, but in recent years she has received them at the Lederman Synagogue, the central synagogue of the Chazon Ish neighborhood in Bnei Brak. Alongside this, she contributed to the book 'Beit Imi', compiled and edited by her sister, Rebbetzin Ruth Tsiyon.

Rebbetzin Batsheva Esther Kanievsky (of blessed memory) was born in the Mea Shearim neighborhood of Jerusalem, the eldest daughter of Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv and Chaya, daughter of Rabbi Aryeh Levin. As a child, she accompanied her grandfather, Rabbi Aryeh Levin, on visits to underground prisoners and to the sick and widowed. In her youth, she worked in accounting, assisting her father, Rabbi Elyashiv, in proofreading the writings of her great-grandfather, Rabbi Shlomo Elyashov, author of the 'Leshem Shevo Ve'achlama' series.

In conversation with 'Hidabroot', Rebbetzin Kolodetsky reminisces nostalgically about her upbringing: "What we take from Mom is dedication in all areas," she says. "Her entire life was devoted to the people of Israel. She was the most wonderful and devoted mother and wife one could imagine. Her dedication was unimaginable, and no one suffered from it. She gave everyone equal attention and made each person feel a sense of belonging."

Mom was deeply spiritual and understood even the smallest of physical needs

Rebbetzin Kolodetsky speaks with admiration about her mother, noting that despite life's challenges, her mother never complained. "She was the most perfect mom in the world, caring for every detail. She ensured we were diligent, beautiful, and groomed. If there was ever an issue with a friend at school, she was always involved. She was a pleasant person, remarkable for her memory and mathematical genius. Nothing was at the expense of the home; dad received everything in dedication. She never complained. We aspire to reach even a fraction of her level.

"We lack the capacity to reach her level, but we try. She was deeply spiritual and yet understood all women and their needs. She noticed everything, down to the new dress someone wore. She had a yearning for spirituality but understood earthly matters and women's essential needs.

"I miss her dearly. I feel as if she walks with me hand in hand. Every other sentence, I recall her. It's as if she's in the next room. Since her passing seven years ago, I feel she is still with us. Even when I could visit her only occasionally due to family needs, I find myself repeating phrases she used to say as if I heard them directly from her. I feel she is not gone; she still lives on."

Her father, Rabbi Shmaryahu Yosef Chaim Kanievsky, is a prominent spiritual leader in the Charedi community, a halachic authority, and the author of numerous religious texts.

"Although we lived in a very small apartment in poverty, I never heard her complain. If she, as a mother, didn't feel cramped, then neither did we. It's a fundamental principle — if the mother complains, so do the children, and vice versa. For years we had no air conditioning, and she never mentioned if it was hot or cold for her, so neither did we feel it. At one point, there was an offer to expand our home, but we refused, saying we were fine as it was; everyone had their drawer and bed. We were comfortable. We needed nothing more, and from our tiny, cramped kitchen came her huge pots of food.

"When they wanted to enlarge the kitchen, mom refused. I didn't have air conditioning at my house either, but I agreed only if my father would come to rest in the afternoons during the tough summer days after Tisha B'Av. He promised and fulfilled it. For years, he would arrive in the afternoons, rest, and then continue learning in air-conditioned comfort. I haven't forgotten those years. When parents are happy, so are the children."

Morning routine at the Kanievsky house: Dad garbed in tallit and tefillin

Rebbetzin Kolodetsky contributed to the book 'Beit Imi', inviting her sister, Rebbetzin Ruth Tsiyon, to offer a glimpse into the way of life in such a reputable home.

In the book, Rabbi Tsiyon describes: "The sweet sound of Dad's learning still rings in my ears, as he sat beside my bed, studying the pages of the Talmud – both in the evening upon returning from the 'kolel' and in the dawn's early hours, with only his voice breaking the silence."

"Every night at 10:00 p.m., Dad recited the bedtime Shema and retired," his daughter recounts, "and by 2:30 a.m., he was back in the study room (and the children's rooms…) moving some of them to his bed to make room for the study partner who came to learn with him. Over the years, Dad had different study partners and insisted they be punctual."

"At daybreak, close to sunrise, Dad would head to the synagogue for the early morning Shacharit prayers," the Rebbetzin recalls, noting that her father is particular about performing all mitzvot as early as possible, demonstrating the value of eagerness to fulfill commandments. "On his return, he would sit by our beds, adorned in his tallit and tefillin, reciting verses from the Prophets each day as we were just waking up," she continues.

"The sweetness of the verses, which we heard daily while still sleepy, was like a sweet dream. Its echo remains with us to this day, and we reminisce with longing! At that hour, which in summer was very early, the morning began in our home. We awoke, washed our hands, and since Dad was careful not to study Torah in a room where people had yet to wash their hands, we quickly cleared the room. We quickly made our beds so Dad could continue his studies in an orderly room."

The most critical educational mission: Teaching children they are royalty

Rebbetzin Kolodetsky believes the mission of the book 'Beit Imi' is in the inspiration it offers to other women. "Anyone who reads the book can be inspired to be the most normal woman in the world. A modestly dressed woman who excels as a mother and wife. My mom proves that, even in our generation, one can remain perfectly gracious. Although life wasn't easy for her, she chose joy."

"Any woman who reads it, whether already observant or becoming more connected to Judaism, can learn the joy and fulfillment of a woman's role. It's enlightening how she raised and educated her children and honored her husband. She never claimed at home that her father, Rabbi Elyashiv, was the leader of his time. What my father said at home was sacred. Every woman who reads can see it's possible to run a home with Torah and mitzvot and be the best wife. She devoted herself to the public, and Hashem rewards those who serve the community. It's possible to be righteous and live a normal life. She wasn't a victim; everyone loved her and wished to emulate her. That's the goal: When will I achieve what my ancestors have done?"

Today's younger generation, some of whom are drifting away, presents a complex educational challenge for parents. What do you consider the most important educational mission?

"The most crucial educational mission is to tell children they are like royalty and to live by that message. We must explain that our people are the most important in the world, that we hold the highest status, and that Hashem loves us. It is vital to take delight in the mitzvot as they offer the greatest satisfaction. When things are challenging, it’s about teaching them that the reward is a thousandfold for every mitzvah when times are tough."

Do you consult with your father?

"For six years, I received guests at his home. When a question required his input, I would enter and ask, waiting until he lifted his eyes from the Talmud, receiving answers without interrupting his study. Now, I receive visitors at the Lederman Synagogue. If necessary, I call his assistants, who ask him on my behalf, and he responds patiently.

"Father usually replies briefly; he doesn't talk much, spending his days with the Talmud. It's a shame I can't visit more often, but I'm mostly busy with receiving women, leaving no time. Initially, I worried about leaving the holiness of home since all blessings were there. I felt secure as if mom was in the next room. The transition to receiving at the synagogue was difficult, but thank G-d, the blessings accompanied me."

Women come seeking blessings for matches, easy births, or breech baby corrections, and they receive priority. There are countless girls waiting for blessings for matches or those needing to finalize one. The greatest distress families face is unwed children, sometimes with four or five unmarried children. The revered Stiepler (her grandfather, Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky's father) would say the biggest woe is grown children not yet married or building homes, bigger than any other issue like youth drifting away.

Additionally, there are women, children, and young ones battling grave illnesses akin to a plague. G-d willing, people survive, and we offer support. Many women, thank G-d, have recovered. There’s no advice or wisdom except prayer and modesty for a Jewish daughter. Mom, of blessed memory, was very modest and always performed acts of kindness. Before going to the beach, mom would ask us to check if there was a neighbor's child whose mother had just given birth and couldn’t take her to the beach. She was a mother to all of Israel but never at anyone's expense.

Rebbetzin has a message for women: "It is most important to recognize that we are daughters of royalty, take pride in the role of a Jewish mother. We are the essence of the home. There is nothing like a Jewish mother. When a woman sends her husband to study, her reward surpasses her husband's. Mothers and women need to know: The woman is the queen of the home. She runs the household, is the core, and the most important. When praying for children, it’s the mother's merit that is remembered. If children are well-mannered, credit goes to the mother; everything stems from her. She brings blessings to the house. The divine presence rests in the home thanks to the woman. She instills reverence for Hashem in the children. The woman continues a glorious lineage for the Jewish people; she is the bridge to our spirituality. Rabbi Kanievsky states that a woman's prayer reaches the Holy of Holies, all the way to the throne of glory."

To purchase the book 'Beit Imi', written at Rabbi Kanievsky's request, click here.