Mourning Laws: Regulations for Recent and Distant News of Death

Recent News

If someone's relative has died, and they heard about it before thirty days have passed since the death, such as when they traveled abroad and weren't informed until they returned, this is considered recent news. They must observe all mourning practices as if the burial just occurred. Therefore: they must tear their garment, recite the blessing 'Dayan Ha'emet' (the True Judge), refrain from wearing tefillin on the day they received the news, be provided with a mourner's meal, sit shiva for seven days, and observe prohibitions against haircuts and other thirty-day mourning practices starting from this day. (3:141, 142. 2:274)

Distant News

If someone heard that their relative died more than thirty days after the death, this is considered distant news. They recite the blessing 'Dayan Ha'emet,' but aren't provided with a mourner's meal, and don't sit shiva for seven days. Instead, they only perform a recognizable act of mourning, such as removing their shoes or sitting on the ground, even for just one minute. Regarding tearing the garment - for other relatives they don't tear, but for a father or mother they tear forever. (3:141, 146, 155, 156)

Regardinghaircuts and other thirty-day mourning practices - for other relatives, these don't apply at all. For a father or mother - these practices apply from the day of hearing the news until thirty days have passed and friends rebuke them. [If a holiday occurs within these thirty days, they may get a haircut on the eve of the holiday, even in the morning]. Regarding the prohibition of entering celebration venues and listening to musical instruments, one counts twelve months from the day of death. (3:141, 156, 159)

After 12 Months - If the news about one's father or mother came after 12 months, one tears their garment and observes mourning for one minute as mentioned above, but doesn't observe any thirty-day mourning practices. (3:141)

One Who Arrives from a Nearby Place to the Head of the Household

If someone's relative died while they were in another country, and there is a possibility they could reach [even by plane] within 12 hours the city where the other mourners are sitting, even if they actually arrive on the fourth or fifth day of mourning, they join the others, and when the others rise from mourning on the seventh day, they rise as well. Even if they arrived on the seventh day, as long as the head of the household has not yet risen from mourning, they join them and rise together. [The head of the household refers to the person others rely on for consultation and whose decisions are final, even if they are the youngest (Section 375:2). See the next paragraph that it's not necessarily the head of the household]. If they heard about the death on the seventh day of mourning and arrived immediately, while the head of the household is still sitting, they may not put on tefillin in the morning, since for them it is the first day of mourning. However, after the comforters have left, they join the head of the household who is rising from mourning, and they also rise, putting on tefillin that same day without a blessing. (3:181. 2:274. 4:316)