Laws of Eulogies Throughout the Year

Eulogies are prohibited during Chol HaMoed (Intermediate Days of Festivals), Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah and Purim, due to the elevated status and sanctity of these days, which are days of joy and holiness for the Jewish people. (A 288, C 133)

I remember 30 years ago at the seventh-day memorial for Rabbi Yaakov Ovadia, the father of Maran zt"l, which was held at the "Or HaChaim" yeshiva in the holy city of Jerusalem. The seventh night fell on the eve of Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av 5747, and the eulogies began while it was still day [the 29th of Tammuz] before sunset, delivered by rabbis who were among the greatest scholars of the generation zt"l. By the time Maran rose to speak, night had fallen - Rosh Chodesh had begun - and Maran prefaced his remarks by noting that since Rosh Chodesh had arrived, he was not permitted to give a eulogy, and instead spoke only words of moral instruction and inspiration relevant to the occasion.

On Purim, when eulogies are prohibited, this applies to both days, the 14th and 15th, and in all locations [both in Jerusalem and in unwalled cities]. In a leap year, eulogies are also prohibited on the 14th and 15th of the first Adar.

Torah Scholar - It is permitted to eulogize a Torah scholar at the time of the funeral only. But after burial, eulogies are not permitted. (A 288, 290. C 133)

Children's Teacher who sets fixed times for Torah study is considered a Torah scholar and may be eulogized. (Chanukah 10, 11)

Month of Nissan

The custom is not to give eulogies during the month of Nissan. Nevertheless, it is permitted to eulogize a Torah scholar even in his absence when commemorating the seventh or thirtieth day after his passing. The same applies to distinguished women, such as the wife of a Torah scholar, and the like. (A 290)

On one occasion, Maran the Rishon LeZion zt"l was asked whether it was permissible to eulogize a yeshiva student who passed away during the month of Nissan. He replied that it is permissible to offer words of eulogy at the time of the funeral, as a yeshiva student has somewhat the status of a Torah scholar according to the standards of our generation for this matter, but the eulogy should be kept as brief as possible. (D 269)

Festivals

If the deceased was buried on the first day of a festival by non-Jews or on the second day by Jews, no eulogy is delivered even for a scholar in his presence. However, one may speak about matters of rebuke and moral instruction to inspire the people. (A 291. C 134)

The Rambam wrote that it is forbidden to eulogize on a festival. The Maharimmat wrote that although eulogizing on a festival is prohibited, as the prophet warned: "Do not grieve, for the joy of Hashem is your strength," it is nevertheless permitted to inspire the people with words of moral instruction so that we might cease from wrongdoing and correct our misdeeds. This is similar to what we find with Rabbi Akiva, who encountered the bier of his teacher Rabbi Eliezer and struck his own flesh until blood flowed, despite the Torah's prohibition against self-mutilation. The Tosafot explained that he did so out of respect for the Torah. The same must be said regarding the view of Rabbi Chaim Palachi, who wrote that in his city of Izmir, it was customary to deliver a discourse on a festival for a Torah scholar in his presence, or for someone who was an important official. He cited the case of Rabbi Achai, Rabbi Avraham, who gave a discourse in the cemetery on the first day of Shavuot for a wealthy man who was considered learned, wise and understanding. Similarly, the book Menachem Aveilim records that when the distinguished Rabbi Yom Tov Benvenisti was summoned to the heavenly academy on the seventh day of Passover, Rabbi Moharam delivered a great eulogy for him. We must distinguish between a discourse containing moral rebuke and encouragement for the people, which is permitted, and an actual eulogy, which is forbidden on a festival.

Moral Instruction and Inspiration

In all the aforementioned days [Chol HaMoed, Chanukah, Purim, Nissan, and Rosh Chodesh] when eulogies are prohibited, in our times when the main focus of eulogies is words of praise and commendation regarding the good qualities of the deceased, as well as praise for the merit of Kaddish prayers that elevate the deceased from one level to another in Paradise - it is permissible to deliver such eulogies. These occasions provide an appropriate opportunity to instill pure fear of Heaven in the hearts of the mourners, and to direct their ears toward moral instruction in observing Torah and commandments, and in educating their children in Torah. Experience has shown that many times after listening to such words, people have returned to complete repentance and raised their children in the path of Torah. [Rabbi Yerucham wrote that a house of mourning is called 'bei ta'ama' (house of reasoning), because there people expound and give reason for what happened to them, so that they might return in repentance, and the mourner will return to Hashem who will have mercy on him, as well as to comfort him and speak to his heart]. (A 290)

Thirty Days Before a Festival

If a person loses a relative more than thirty days before the Three Festivals [Passover, Shavuot, Sukkot], for example, before the 13th of Elul, they should not eulogize him after that point before the festival of Sukkot. This is because the eulogy would reawaken grief and might lead to eulogizing during the festival itself. However, if the death occurred within thirty days of the festival [from the 14th of Elul onward], it is permitted to eulogize, since the deceased is still fresh in their memory anyway. Nevertheless, for a memorial service held at the completion of the year [12 months], it is permitted to give a eulogy even within thirty days before a festival.

Maran the Beit Yosef wrote: It seems to me that these rules applied only to their custom of eulogizing their dead in the middle of the year to provoke weeping, eulogy, and wailing, as that sorrow and pain is not forgotten from the heart for thirty days. But regarding our custom nowadays of eulogizing at the completion of the year, since this does not reawaken the memory of the deceased, but rather marks the end of their mourning period, this is permitted. Therefore, according to this reasoning, the memorial service and eulogy conducted at eleven months would not fall under this exemption, since the mourning period continues until the end of twelve months. (A 293, 296)

All of the above applies only when a relative of the deceased delivers the eulogy, as their heart is very bitter over the loss. But for others, it is permitted to eulogize in all cases, since their grief is not so greatly aroused. (A 294)